summary

This book embodies the loveliest notion that came to me as a result of transforming myself in Seoul during my adulthood: the desire to be a joyfully free person in a wholesome world—joyfully free in body and mind, living in a wholesome world with resources flowing freely.

excerpt

After living in South Korea for 18 months, I realized that I felt actualized while living on the international scene and probably for good reason. I’m from a family of globally mobile people. At the age of 48 this self-discovery came as a surprise because — apart from a few years away for college — I had always lived in Boise, Idaho. Yet international and multi-cultural ties had been present all along. My parents hail from highly mobile military and agrarian families. They moved throughout the U.S. almost every year of their primary and secondary school days. Because my parents chose never to uproot their children from Boise, I had not understood what their mobile backgrounds meant to me – not until I moved my entire home and family life from Boise to Seoul and back.


At first, the move to South Korea felt like a monumental leap - momentum, rapid effort, a long sailing moment from one cultural way of life to another. . . . And yet the new experience felt strangely familiar. For example, at the kids’ international school there were military families who said things like “hurry up and wait” which is a phrase my father occasionally used to described his military-brat upbringing. The military mothers at the international school PTO reminded me of my father’s sisters. They’re informed, lighthearted, with a ready sense of humor. Moreover, I was comfortable with the speedy way many international sojourners form new friendships. | understood clearly the importance of relationships when one is forging and new life in a new place. One of the hardest parts, however, was my mistaken sense of shame for needing to belong. Luckily, my children and I received wise counseling at the Korea International School (KIS). They built a bridge. We learned that it’s normal for adults as well as children to need a group to which they can belong. Furthermore, needs feel exaggerated when you’re in your first cultural transition. When the international school offered regular counseling and volunteer opportunities for the parents of students, I made sure to show up!


I learned something about cultural transitions that has become fundamental to this book and to the way I now understand my sojourn and the sojourns of others. I learned there are five psychological phases through which people progress when transitioning to a new culture: Involved. Leaving. Transition. Entering. Re-involved. These phase titles come from Pollock, Pollock and Van Reken’s Third Culture Kids as well as Tina Quick's The Global Nomad’s Guide to University Transition. By the end of this journey, I hope you will understand the relevance of this insight and allow it to dwell in your imagination as you plan a cross-cultural sojourn of your own.